117. “I touched your Vitalis, I’m gonna go wash my hands.”

The episode: “Are You Ready for Marriage?” the short in front of “Racket Girls,” ep. 616

The riff: Said by Mike in a girly voice as a young woman disengages from her man at the end of a date.

The explanation: I’m pretty sure this is a reference to Vitalis Hair Tonic. It’s an old-school product that was supposed to be an alternative to physical pomades that had a more gooey consistency. It was apparently marketed as something for upscale folks who didn’t want to look like “greasy kids.” It touted it could do this through “the greaseless grooming discovery V7.” I have no idea what V7 is. Presumably, it still left your hands feeling like they needed washing, though.

Novelty factor: As it turns out, vintage hair tonics fall somewhat outside my area of riff expertise. So listen to someone who knows more on the subject than me–Green Bay Packers quarterback Bart Starr!

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